


Toy Expo

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/F, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-15
Updated: 2006-06-15
Packaged: 2019-02-02 15:12:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12729015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Vala discovers some new delights of planet Earth; and so does Sam.





	Toy Expo

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

I stare at the sheet of paper on the kitchen table. It just came in the morning mail and something's not right. I double-check the first line:

'Trading Products International: four hundred and thirty three dollars, ninety-seven cents'.

I skim my memory for the previous month. Who the hell are Trading Products International and what did I buy from them that cost me _that_?

The second line on my credit card bill is an even greater conundrum:

'Blue Iris Mist Direct: five hundred and seventy-two dollars, ninety-five cents'.

I check the name at the top: Samantha Carter. It's mine all right. I frown and bite my lip. Damn it, I've been targeted by fraudsters. No way did I spend a thousand dollars on credit last month. I pick up the phone and turn the paper over, looking for the hot-line to report it. What did I use my card for lately? Mark's birthday present - a book. Some flowers for Mrs Trimble three doors down after she tripped over her watering can and put out her kneecap. Anything else? Oh, the check at the steak house where I took Vala that Saturday night...

Vala.

_Vala!_

Damn it.

My chair scrapes the floor as I stand abruptly. I let the phone clatter. I search around for my wallet, eyes darting about the kitchen. There it is, by the kettle. I grab it and open it.

Damn it damn it damn it.

It's not inside. My credit card is _not inside_. I pull out the various bits and pieces, searching feverishly. No card. I pull apart the leather, tip the empty wallet upside down and shake it, on the off chance my card has morphed into a tenth of its natural size and wedged itself between the seams out of sight.

It hasn't.

Crap.

I drop the wallet and palm my face. It has to be Vala. Orlin's not around and there's no one else. I really shouldn't let her stay nights at my house, but it's so much more convenient than driving her back to the base when it's late. Besides, mornings are good too. We like to chat about her progress. We exchange stories over fresh juice and croissants. We laugh and joke about the boys and... do other stuff we're not supposed to before getting up late.

She stayed last night. She's upstairs on the PC right now, surfing. It helps her learn about our world. It helps her integrate and...

... shop.

Shit.

I'm up the stairs in three strides, shouting. "Vala!"

I fling open the door to the small room I have set up as a study, jerking to a halt. The swivel chair is empty and the monitor is dark. I turn round.

"Vala?"

I hear a thump and my head snaps towards my bedroom. There's another muffled thud, followed by a curse more than audible through the closed door. I step towards it and turn the handle, ready to assume a righteous and indignant demeanour. I throw the door open and I...

... lose my voice; and my balance; and my ability to process thought.

Vala straightens swiftly and grins brightly at me. "Hi, Sam!"

My jaw drops. My eyes bulge. My tongue does something best not described.

Vala's grin widens implausibly. She's standing by the bed in her bare feet. She gestures around my bedroom with both hands. "So, as you can see, I bought some stuff."

That's one way of putting it. Another way of putting it would be, 'Hey, Sam, I just used your card to raid every sex-toy store on the internet and look, there's no room for you to sleep tonight!'

I manage to get a word past my dry lips. "Vala..."

She approaches suddenly, palms up in a placating gesture. "I know it's a bit untidy! I'm sorry, I couldn't resist unpacking everything, but I'll sort it all out, I promise."

"Uh..."

Her eyes dance as she interrupts my feeble effort to communicate. Genuine excitement animates her face. "Sam, your planet really is amazing. Your _people_ are amazing. The stuff you guys have invented! And not just invented - _mass-manufactured_ \- for erotic thrills and pleasure!"

Oh god, she's not kidding. My bed is swamped with diverse objects of sexual gratification. It's like a depraved kaleidoscope of form and colour and texture. There are items of every conceivable shape, and some of near-inconceivable size for penetration. There are beads and balls, stimulators and harnesses, inflatables and lubricants. There are several items of classic lingery which appear to have crucial components missing. There are things of leather and things of latex, and a shiny collection of nipple jewellery. There are things that look painful that make my eyes pop and quite a few things I can't begin to guess at.

There's also a lot of ripped packaging all over the floor like a wall-to-wall carpet.

I can't help it. I have to sit down. I stagger to the corner of the bed and drop awkwardly.

"Hey, careful Sam. That's a butterfly-remote you're crushing."

I'm not going to ask. I have some pride.

I try again. "Vala, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"And just look at the colours!" She sweeps her arm in an arc across the room, deliberately ignoring my question. "I mean, vibrant indigo! Bright scarlet! Fluorescent purple! Some of them even light up... and look at _this_ one!" She grabs a large translucent dildo from a pillow and holds it an inch from my nose. "I swear, this is exactly the same shade as that blue jello stuff you're so fond of eating. That's got to be a subliminal design there, don't you think?"

I turn my head to escape the phallus wiggling in front of my face. "Vala, please. You can't just go using other people's credit cards to buy... toys."

"Oh come on." She smiles provocatively. "Of course I can."

"No. No you can't. It's just not done."

"But I have done. And you don't mind really. You're not Daniel."

I blink at her. "What's Daniel got to do with it?"

"Daniel wouldn't let me use his."

I roll my eyes. "So you asked him?"

She shrugs casually. "But then Daniel wasn't going to benefit, so that's hardly a surprise."

I sigh heavily. "You shouldn't have used _mine_ without asking first..." I pause as her words register. "What do you mean?"

She raises her eyebrows innocently. The curl of her lip betrays something else entirely. Her fingertips stroke the blue dildo, slowly.

Suddenly I'm wary; and a little apprehensive. "Vala, what do you mean... _benefit_?"

She shoves aside her purchases and sits down next to me, thigh to thigh. Her natural scent is suddenly pervasive; heady.

"I bought them for _you_ , Sam."

My throat tightens. I swallow and croak. "What?"

She leans into me and her breath caresses my ear. "You've been so good to me, Sam. And I've let you." Her hand strokes my thigh, warming it. I feel her lips curve into a wanton smile next to my cheek. "And now it's my turn to be good to you."

I think my blood pressure just shot up twenty points. I can feel my skin flushing. "Oh no..."

"Oh _yes_." Her voice is low but hints at aggression. "We are going to _play_ , Sam. And I'm the banker."

It's fortunate that I'm already sitting down. My knees start quivering unexpectedly.

"The banker?" I repeat, stupidly.

She frowns slightly. "Banker, games-master... whatever. I haven't got your metaphors clear yet." Her voice grows husky again. "All you need to know is, I'm in charge of the toys, honey."

I'm getting warm. Too warm. In the pit of my belly. Is that fear?

"I don't like toys. You know I don't like it... kinky."

"You know I don't like being tickled, but you still do it."

"That's different."

"The hell it is. Take your clothes off."

My breath catches. "Excuse me?"

She grinds closer, if possible. Her long dark hair brushes my neck and incites a tingling sensation across my chest. "You heard me, Sam. Get your pristine ass out of those comfortable jeans, or I swear I'll pull you out of them."

I can feel my pulse picking up speed. My lungs pull in oxygen deeply, against my wishes. I don't move.

Her tone grows firmer at my hesitation. "Now!"

My fingers leap to obey her command without my telling them to. I'm unbuttoning my shirt and jeans and loosening my trembling limbs of their confines before I know it. Her seductive smile turns approving.

"Everything, honey."

Moments later I'm nude beside her, my clothes a careless pile on top of cardboard and cellophane. How did that happen? And Vala's still next to me, her dark, low cut top revealing a cleavage which seems suddenly fixating.

She smirks when she notes the direction of my gaze. "Eyes front, Sam."

I do as she says and look ahead. Now I recognise that warm sensation in my belly as adrenalin. I can feel it turning up my heart rate and heightening my senses. The mattress shifts and she disappears behind me. I hear her clearing some space on the bed. Some items drop to the floor, but she collects several others and places them on the table by the window.

She stands still, and I can feel her eyes on me.

"On the bed, Sam. On your hands and knees."

I turn and look at her, my eyes wide. But my eyes widen even further when I see what she's holding in her right hand. I've never seen one up close before, but I know enough to recognise the smooth, black object she's balancing between her fingers as a silicon butt plug.

I squirm, mortified, the heat rising on my cheeks. "No no no no no..."

Vala's expression hardens. "Sam, I'm not going to tolerate your delaying tactics. You get into position now, or there's a shiny new paddle amongst this lot I can use to persuade you."

Fuck. The heat is flooding to a point between my legs now. As I stare at her like a frightened deer she brings her left hand into view, a tube of flavoured lube clearly visible - whether to reassure me or to impress me with the inevitability of her design I can't tell.

I force my arid mouth to work. I don't think I sound convincing.

"No way am I having that in my ass, Vala."

"Get on the bed, Sam."

I shake my head, trembling.

She purses her lips and puts the plug down on the table. She picks up an enormous dildo - lurid green and strangely wobbling. Her eyes flash at me. "I could see if this fits instead."

"I'm on the bed! I'm on it!"

The mattress bounces hard when I land on it. I face the headboard and close my eyes briefly, daring myself to realise what I'm doing.

Oh god.

"That's more like it."

The bed gives a little as she kneels behind me. I open my eyes sharply. There is a mirror on the table by the window, and if I turn my head to the side I can see Vala's reflection; and my ass in the air.

A whimper escapes my throat and she responds by stroking my backside firmly.

"You've never done this before, have you Sam?"

"You know I haven't!"

"Hmm." Her caress lightens and her nails tickle my skin. "It's okay, honey. All you have to do is relax."

"Easy for you to say!"

"And easy for you to do, sweetie, if you trust me."

Trust her. Trust Vala? What a ridiculous notion.

She seems to read my mind. Or maybe it's the immediate shiver that travels over my exposed flesh which clues her in.

"And if you don't quite trust me... well, that can be exciting too, can't it?"

Oh yeah, she read my mind all right. I'm feeling vulnerable and it freaks me out that I think I'm liking it. I don't like the notion that I'm liking it but -

_Slap!_

Her palm on my ass cheek knocks my train of thought off its rails. I gasp loudly.

Her voice is quiet. "That was a direct question, Sam. I expect an answer."

I breathe deeply, trying to regain some equilibrium. Shit. What was the question?

I reply unsteadily. "Uh, yes?"

"Yes," she repeats firmly. "Now... _relax_."

I watch her in the mirror out of the corner of my eye. She squeezes a generous circle of clear lube around the tip of the plug, then discards the tube. She places her free hand on the top of my ass. I can feel her palm pressing into my skin, firm and possessive. It feels controlling but oddly comforting.

She notices me watching her in the mirror. Her eyes narrow.

"Sam, eyes front and close them."

I obey without question this time. Now that I'm unable to see her my concentration focuses on the sensations around my rear: the leather of her pants against my inner thighs as she nudges my legs apart; the cool tip of her finger tracing a line down between my cheeks, tickling my sensitive skin. I moan softly. She touches my anus and I moan louder.

I feel something else slide against my tight opening. It's cool and fluid, then warm and solid. I inhale sharply.

"Sam," she warns gently, pausing for me.

I steady my breathing and will the tension to leave my body. After a few moments I feel her increasing the pressure again. I put my head back and open my mouth, gasping softly. More pressure - something ribbed pushes into me, then another rib, further, further...

Oh wow...

"Good girl, Sam!" Vala praises.

"Oh god," I reply breathlessly. "Oh god that's... oooh..."

She chuckles behind me. "Feels good, doesn't it?"

I groan an affirmative, my eyes still closed. She laughs again, obviously amused by my lack of verbal proficiency, and I'm too wrapped up in the filling sensations in my butt to find a retort to that either. How can something where it shouldn't be feel so much like it damn well should?

I'm so distracted that it's several moments before I'm aware that Vala has moved and is standing beside me, doing something to my wrists. I open my eyes in time to see chrome buckles tightening on leather cuffs.

"Hey!"

She tugs hard and I fall flat, my arms stretched out in front of me. The plug wiggles inside me as I fall to the mattress, and I can't help the squeak of surprise and pleasure that escapes my throat.

In an instant a silky black cord has roped the joined cuffs to the headboard. She grabs my hips and lifts me with a grunt, turning me swiftly onto my back. The plug jerks again as I land, forcing another discordant noise between my teeth.

Oh fuck. There's a plug in my butt and my hands are tied so I can't get it out. I tug hard on the restraints but my wrists are secure. Oh fuck.

Vala descends to my breasts and takes a nipple in her mouth. Her hair drifts sensuously across my exposed skin, cascading over me and caressing with every tiny movement of her head. Her lips soon tease my nipple to hardness and she ducks quickly to the other one. I arch into her as she brings it to the same rigidity.

"You're such a bitch," I tell her.

She giggles against my tightening flesh. Her breath is warm and moist.

"Bad girl, Sam. I'll make you pay for that."

I writhe under her. "Vala, this isn't fair."

"Oh I know baby, but isn't it nice?"

Well yes, it is nice. Scary nice.

She sits up suddenly and rubs her hands together. "Right. Where are the other cuffs?"

My eyes widen and follow her as she kicks around the room, searching. Her toes scatter open boxes and kinky clothing. Eventually she finds what she's looking for. She perches on the edge of the bed again to take my leg and wrap a restraint around my ankle.

I kick out and the leather cuff falls off. She seizes my calf in a fierce grip and focuses on me.

"Sam, you can play nice, or I can still introduce that green monster over there to your nether regions. Any preference?"

I still my protests and glare at her petulantly. She nods approval at my choice and buckles the cuff on securely, then does the same with my other ankle. More silk cords appear. She bends my knees a little and pushes my thighs wide, securing my ankles to the sides of the bed. Then she straightens and gazes down at me.

A warm breeze from the open window caresses my helpless body. She grins when a tremor runs through me.

"Oh Sam, you really are beautiful."

"Because I'm helpless?" I squirm and pull, acutely aware of how effectively she's secured me into her chosen position.

She passes her tongue over her upper lip. "That's the bonus." She joins me on the bed again and cups my breast in her palm, squeezing. Her other hand wanders lightly down my quivering abdomen and teases the curls below. I lift my hips, searching for more contact. She smiles wickedly and dances around to my thighs, carefully avoiding my centre where I want her to touch me.

"Are you going to torment me, Vala?"

"Would be a waste not to, don't you think?"

I groan. My desire is building stronger than ever. I need her to touch me. I jerk my legs unwittingly, trying to locate some friction. The cuffs keep them pinned, holding me open. My sense of helplessness only increases my arousal.

She grips the hem of her top and pulls it over her head, releasing her firm, dark-tipped breasts. They bounce gently and touch my own when she lowers herself again and kisses me. My hands jerk hard against the headboard, reaching for them instinctively, and I hiss my annoyance into her lips as I'm denied that pleasure. Her tongue invades and swirls inside, probing the contours of my mouth. Then she pulls away suddenly and I stretch upwards, wanting more. I cry out a protest as she leaves the bed again.

She moves to the table and picks up a small, shiny object. I try to see what it is. It looks like some kind of silver bullet.

"What's that?" I ask, puzzled and frustrated.

She doesn't answer. She breaks open a pack of tiny cell batteries and proceeds to fill the bullet.

"Vala?" I can hear my voice turning anxious.

She turns towards me again, the shiny bullet gleaming between her finger and thumb, a wanton smile on her lips. "The butt plug has a hole in it, Sam. Just for this." Her eyes fill with admiration as she examines the neat object briefly. "Isn't that ingenious?" Her hand drops out of sight between my legs and I feel her thrusting. She twists her fingers and...

Sweet mother of god! My ass is _vibrating_!

I scream.

Vala glances at the open window. "Sam, keep it down!"

I can't believe she said that!

"Oh god!" I yell. "Oh god, that's... that's..." My backside levitates off the bed. I wail hopelessly as the exquisite sensations propel me towards an altered state of consciousness. Through half-lidded, fluttering eyelids I can see Vala smiling down at me, delighted with the result.

"I knew you'd like it."

Maybe it's a good thing I'm tied down. That pulse between my thighs is throbbing now, intensely needful. I haul on the ropes as desperation builds within me. My voice rises.

"Ohhh... _please!_ "

"Quiet!" Vala hisses.

"Fuck that!"

She rolls her eyes and dives back to the table, rummaging through its errant contents. I watch her hold up a bright red ball gag, then shake her head and toss it over her shoulder. She finds something else and approaches. She kneels on the bed between my legs and leans over me.

I try to rub myself against her, craving her touch. "Please Vala! I can't take this."

"Do you want to come, Sam?"

"Do I ever!"

"Can you do it without frightening the neighbours so they dial 911?"

The fuck!? As if this is my fault! " _VALA!_ "

"Thought not."

She shoves something dark and firm between my lips and fastens it in place with a strap around my head. I keen against the solid obstruction, my tongue clinging to the smooth intruder and sucking automatically.

"Okay," she says hurriedly, "okay, I won't be long, Sam." She scrambles off the bed again and starts looking for more stuff. I nearly combust at the sight of her pulling away from me and start struggling again. She notices my exasperation and darts back briefly to turn up the setting on the vibrator. "There, just bear with me, honey."

I'm going to die. I'm going to _die_.

But not before I kill her.

Oh god, she's fiddling with a harness - how long is that going to take? She pulls it over her slim hips and tightens it... releases it again to adjust the angle, inserts a bouncing crimson cock, re-tightens it.

I moan pitifully, squirming, desperate.

She bounds onto the bed again and positions herself, putting her hands under my ass and lifting me to meet her new attachment. My breath comes in short, frantic gasps as I feel the cock tease my ripe flesh. She slips in a little further, then thrusts hard. I screw my eyes tight shut and emit an indistinct wail as the toy fills me. I can feel it pressing against the other one, heightening the pressure against my inner walls. I bite down hard on the gag.

Vala waits a few moments, then slowly pulls back and pushes in again. My chest heaves. I open my eyes and see her watching me intently.

Somewhere in the lust-fuelled fog that is my mind it occurs to me that I'm a shameless hussy. If my team could see me now - or god forbid the general! - strapped to my own bed by an alien, with sordid silicon jammed in every orifice...

Or what if my childhood priest knew what I was doing? That sour-faced man for whom I could never think of a suitable confession. Well how about this for one? He'd tell me I'm going to hell for it.

And if I'm not going to hell for doing it, I'm going to hell for enjoying it.

Vala increases her pace and my eyes roll upwards. Her cock is sliding close to the vibrating plug and driving me to distraction. My pleas are incoherent and futile - she knows what I want but she's delaying giving it to me, making me pay like she told me she would. My head thrashes against the pillow. If my legs were free I'd wrap them around her and crush her to me, but there's nothing I can do. I'm at her mercy.

At last she puts her fingers to my aching centre and circles gently. I groan my impatience, wanting her to increase the speed and pressure. Sweat gleams on my flushed body now and she grins at my desperation.

"Poor Sam. Shall I let you come, honey?"

"Nnnnnnggg!"

She laughs and obliges, stroking and circling harder and faster. My taut limbs tense, pulling me away from the mattress, and I surge to a climax, my muscles pulsating around the objects inside me, gripping tightly with my long, shattering orgasm.

I collapse back onto the bed, breathing hard. Vala leans forward and releases my mouth, her expression triumphant.

"So can we keep them?"

I catch my breath, licking my lips to moisten them. Did she say something? "Huh?"

"These toys, Sam. Can we keep them?"

"Oh sure." I can hardly string the words together. "I think we'd better. We probably broke the terms of their returns policy."

End


End file.
